Setting Aside Time to Problem Solve
Every human on the planet is juggling a problem or two at any given moment. Some problems are seemingly insurmountable. Some are a slight irritation, but frustrating all the same.
The thing is, until we take the time to stop running away from our problems, and turn around to face them, they don’t go away. In fact, more often than not, the harder we run, the more the problem snowballs. We need to understand that bad things happen to all of us. Problems are not personal. All of us, from any race, gender, size, culture, or sexuality, at various stages throughout our lives will have to deal with problems in our lives.
And it’s because of the recurrence and frequency of life’s ways to test us, that we need to turn the tables on how we look at problems in our life. We are not the victims of our lives. Life is happening for us, not to us. We get pushed by life, not to hurt us, but to help us to reach greater heights; to get to know ourselves on a deeper level.
And no, this piece is not to undermine genuine suffering and distress caused by tragic events and traumas. Yes, lessons can be learned from these things too, but maybe they can’t. Maybe life has been so cruel that some people cannot get past their pain, and I’m so sorry if that currently feels like you. I feel we are all worthy of change and growth, and I hope that you may one day be able to move past the fear and pain you’re in.
But, for the sake of this blog, let’s just stick to your bog-standard problem solving such as a fight with your partner, a financial crisis, a choice to stay in a relationship or not, or a decision to move house or change your job.
Problems often arise when change is needed most, or when there is a lesson to learn. Challenges can be the catalyst that shakes us out of our existential slumber. If we never had a problem, if you hung your life on a static line, geez it would be SO boring. Every day would be the same. We’d be flatlining zombies, going about our days, nothing to challenge our perceptions, nothing to push us further down the path of self-growth.
Our reptilian brains are wired for safety. Our early pre-conditioned minds love to stay in their comfort zone, only occasionally tip-toeing out into the big wide world if our parents or others have modelled certain behaviours that push us beyond fear-based thoughts. If we teach ourselves to see our problems as a positive thing, something to test us, something to grow from, we can start to get excited about the process of solving them.
To problem solve well, we need to put time aside in our lives, without distraction to give our minds the space to nut things out. We problem solve best, not by harking back to previous life experiences, but by being fully present, in our conscious minds to bring fresh ideas to the table. In a fully mindful state, we are able to brainstorm, throw ideas around, assess the pros and cons, before finally landing on a decision. It’s also important to take our ideas to the worst-case scenario, to see how robust they are. Often the idea will still be sound, however it may need a little risk management to make sure it’s fully viable. If not, try something else.
If you can take some time to meditate before a problem-solving session, even better. You will often find by quietening the mind, and asking the mind a question, answers will flow through to you. How often have you had an issue on your mind, you go to sleep and bam! You wake up with the solution! I’ve had this happen on numerous occasions.
Problem solving is also a deeply emotional experience. We may feel fear, hesitation, doubt, confusion, or uncertainty. That’s why, when we are fully in the moment with our problems, we can use the power of our critical thinking skills, and our emotional awareness to balance what is happening in our fearful monkey mind versus what is happening in our heart. By being more present within our bodies, we can tap into our intuition better. Intuition is the ancient instinct we all have that helps us to gauge which decision will work best for what we need and want in our lives. Building self-trust, not betraying ourselves with others, helps to feed our intuition.
Another thing to be aware of is that we are also have an innate negativity bias, meaning we tend to get stuck in the problems instead of automatically looking for solutions. Now you are aware of this, catch yourself before you start spiraling down into a self-defeating mentality. Know that this is just another way the brain tries to protect us from external threats. Tell yourself, it’s okay, you’ve got this; you absolutely have the ability to solve the issue.
The more we trust ourselves in general, the better we can make any decision. Because once we have learned to deeply trust in who we are, that’s when we know that whatever decision we make will be the right one.
