Relationship Ready
Who can ever be entirely ready for an intimate relationship?
Well, it’s not often many of us are. Normally, we just stumble along, without knowing who we are as individuals, let alone being even slightly capable of beginning to fathom what we deeply desire from a partnership. Usually, we’re too busy deciding what to wear or what cocktail will look good with the new nail polish.
My early dating life was a hodge podge of hit and miss scenarios.
The keepers often didn’t want to keep me. The ones wanted me to hang around, were usually the ones I wasn’t interested in.
Looking back with wiser eyes…
I can see a few reasons why I couldn’t land ‘the one’, starting with the way I’d stumble down the stairs of the nightclub at 3.00am. Not a pretty sight, I imagine. At the core of it, the key ingredient that was missing at the time, was quite a significant one.
Me, I was missing. With no solid idea of what my life values were or what that term really meant, how was I meant to find a suitable partner that shared my hopes and dreams in alignment with my general likes and dislikes? Where, in the entire world, would I find someone who could possibly want to eat a Speedy’s hotdog with the lot with me, after said nightclub stair stumbling? And to complicate matters even more, how was I meant to learn how to love another well, if I didn’t know how to genuinely love myself, first and foremost, above all others, to death do us part?
And yes, while I completely understand we all make mistakes along the way in the game of love, because that’s how we learn, wouldn’t it be better if the main thing we learnt was how to put the work into ourselves first; taking the time to deeply know ourselves as well as our needs and wants, before we join with another in a hopefully blissful union?
You may be thinking right now that you learnt a lot from the stud who turned into a dud, or the floosy that was a doosy. But what if there is an easier, less painful way to learn on our path to relationship fulfilment?
Before we date any more disappointments, maybe it’s time to put the work in to loving, honouring and respecting yourself in the dating process? How do you do that, you ask? Well, first, you breathe through any late night deperation, turn off our booty calls, and sit in the stillness with a notepad, listening carefully to what your heart is trying to tell you. By taking the time to care about yourself instead of engaging in that somewhat regretful snog, you will have the space to consider what you feel is meaningful to you, and what type of human you honestly long to bring into your life. Wouldn’t that possibly, at the very least, lead you to someone who would respect you more, and who would be a better, more aligned life partner, willing to grow alongside you?
When we stand solid in our integrity, we let our love of self guide us towards our other half, hand in hand with our core values, leading us up the aisle to a more authentic lover who sees us for who we are, and all we’re yet to become – the mirror of our soul, ready to learn life’s lessons together, free in our love for each other, yet never again apart. You have each other’s back, always.
When we love ourselves well we can love another better, expecting and giving the best of ourselves in our intimate relationships. This does not mean perfection, it means finding perfection in the imperfect, building the bonds of resilience together, forming an almighty team of two, ready to take on the world in sacred partnership.
If you find the dating game challenging or you need a hand to help you get ready to find that special someone in your life, try my course, Relationship Ready, or contact Centred Soul Life Coaching for one on one support.
